Day 14: Promises

I want to move past this pain.

But I made a promise, a promise to love him and only him for the rest of my life. Sure, he didn't mean it, apparently. But I did. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't mean it, if I didn't intend to give my life to him.

How can I make myself break that kind of promise? Just because he already did, went off all tra-la-la-and-I-don't-care-about-you-now, doesn't make it any easier for me. I mean, when you say that yes, I'll marry you, I'll love you and only you forever, you're supposed to mean it, and I did.

But he apparently went from "I'll love you forever" to "I don't give a crap about you at all" in mere days, after two years.

I just don't understand how someone can do that.

I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to focus on how stupid it was of him to throw away such a loving, caring woman, someone who was willing to put up with all the hard stuff out of love, someone who supported him through everything and was always, always there for him. And part of me still wonders if he'll wake up and realize what he gave up, without even trying, and want me back.

But it's hard to just move on, when you built your life around someone, promised them your love forever and trusted them to always be there for you and love you and never hurt you.