It's gonna be a happy new year

My boss rocks sometimes.

I made the schedule up to give myself Christmas and New Year's Eve off (I always take Christmas -- seniority, dontcha know -- and I figured that if I could get New Year's off, maybe I could make plans, since I've never had plans for New Year's before). And she actually managed to cover all of the shifts so I can have both days off, woo-hoo! :)

I'm so excited about New Year's. I don't know what, if anything, we're doing, but I'm really looking forward to a happy New Year. I've never been able to celebrate New Year's before -- I've always spent that night depressed, watching all of the happy couples having a good time and making merry. Before I had this job, I got into the habit of making myself go to bed by 11, crying myself to sleep as I tried in vain to ignore the whole thing. With this job, I've volunteered to work every year. Last year was the worst -- usually, I'd managed to sneak out and go home before midnight, but last year, just as I was leaving the building, the parking lot filled up with people standing around for the fireworks, so I was forced to sit there in my car, fighting back tears, surrounded by jubilant couples oohing and aahing as the fireworks stretched on for an excruciatingly long time.

But this year will be different. This year is the first one I won't try to ignore, the first one on which I won't go to bed and cry into my pillow. This year, I have what everybody else always has -- happiness, joy, a sense of hope and optimism. This year, I'll actually celebrate the new year, welcoming it as another year of good things to come, instead of bitterly mourning another lousy year alone, another wasted and miserable year gone and another lonely and depressing year ahead. This year, I can look back on the old year and say that it was a good one, a great one, the best one yet, and I can look forward to the new year as a gift, another year of joy and promise.